Mitch, Please

McConnell still seems to be among the living

Sen. Mitch McConnell, despite what internet sleuths seem to think, appears to be alive. For now. After suffering a mysterious health crisis, which he claims was a fall with complications of pneumonia, we didn’t hear a peep out of him for almost a month, leading to speculation and claims that he was either dead or dead-ish. In response, McConnell recently released a hostage-like, proof of life photo showing him smiling in a hospital bed next to his wife, with a copy of that day’s Washington Post. Reliable fact-checkers say the image is not AI-generated or altered and that the newspaper is, in fact, real. Given that the print newspaper industry is probably in worse health than McConnell, it’s ironic that he used a hard copy mullet-wrapper to verify the date of the picture. Currently, there are more than 20 members of Congress 80 years of age or older, including 92-year-old Sen. Chuck Grassley and 88-year-old Rep. Hal Rogers. When it’s their turn to prove they’re not dead yet and newspapers have gone the way of the 8 track tape, they may have to hold up today’s Wordle or their CVS receipt. Sad!

The sketch: