Grifters Gonna Grift

Trump’s staggering corruption is a family affair

Last month, at the Richard Nixon Library, JD Vance stated, “If Watergate happened tomorrow, it would be a 12-hour news story. The idea that it would have taken down a presidency is crazy.” And he’s probably right about that, but it’s certainly nothing to brag about. Donald Trump and his family commit a Watergate-level scandal at the rate of about two times a week. Richard Nixon wasn’t allowed to get away with his corruption because members of his own party in Congress stood up to him. There are very few statesmen like that in today’s GOP-controlled Congress. They’re all too eager to jump however high Trump tells them to. And the conservative Supreme Court has granted him near-impervious immunity to do whatever he pleases as long as he claims it’s an official duty. And forget about his cabinet. Those brown-nosers humiliate themselves on a weekly basis during televised meetings trying to outdo one another shoveling mountains of praise on Dear Leader. All of this makes the fact that Trump recently released his earnings in an annual financial disclosure report that much more incredible. He’s not even trying to hide his eye-watering corruption. He knows he doesn’t have to. He’s practically bragging about it. A recent article from CNBC breaks it down like this:

• $635 million — Royalties from $TRUMP “Celebration Coins” cryptocurrency.

• More than $500 million — World Liberty Financial crypto token sales.

• $86.5 million — Legal settlements from ABC, CBS, Meta, X, and YouTube/Alphabet.

• More than $20 million — Licensing deals in Romania, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates.

• $77 million — Revenue from Mar-a-Lago and other Trump resorts and golf clubs.

• $4.7 million — Royalties from Trump Watches.

And let’s not forget the “gifts” he’s received from foreign actors that sure have the stink of corruption on them:

• ~$400 million — Luxury Boeing 747-8 from Qatar, intended for use as Air Force One, with plans for transfer to Trump’s presidential library after his presidency.

• $25,000–$35,000 — “Freedom 250” ring from Belgium’s Antwerp World Diamond Centre, featuring 321 diamonds, 56 sapphires, 13 emeralds, and 6 rubies. The gift came after the Belgian diamond industry obtained relief from U.S. tariffs, prompting ethics questions because of the timing. The AWDC has denied it was a quid pro quo.

• More than $130,000 — Personalized 1-kilogram gold bar and a rare Rolex desk clock from Swiss business leaders. These gifts came shortly before the administration reduced tariffs on Swiss imports from 39% to 15%, prompting criticism and a Senate inquiry. The White House has denied any connection between the gifts and the tariff decision.

Last, but not least, here’s his questionable stock trades as recently reported:

• Nvidia (NVDA) — Bought $1 million–$5 million; multiple trades totaling about $6.5 million estimated volume.

• Apple (AAPL) — Bought $1 million–$5 million; about $4.7 million estimated volume.

• Microsoft (MSFT) — Bought $1 million–$5 million; also sold positions valued $5 million–$25 million.

• Amazon (AMZN) — Bought $1 million–$5 million; also sold positions valued $5 million–$25 million.

• Meta Platforms (META) — Bought/sold; sales reported in the $5 million–$25 million range.

• Oracle (ORCL) — Bought $1 million–$5 million.

• Broadcom (AVGO) — Bought $1 million–$5 million; estimated volume about $4 million.

• Palantir (PLTR) — Bought hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of shares; trades drew attention because of Palantir’s government contracts.

• Intel (INTC) — Bought $500,000–$1 million; additional Intel trades occurred around the time of government semiconductor actions.

• Alphabet/Google (GOOGL) — Bought $500,000–$1 million.

• AMD (AMD) — Bought $500,000–$1 million.

• Micron (MU) — Bought $500,000–$1 million.

• Adobe (ADBE) — Bought $1 million–$5 million.

• Workday (WDAY) — Bought $1 million–$5 million.

• ServiceNow (NOW) — Bought $1 million–$5 million.

• Boeing (BA) — Bought securities tied to Boeing; company has major federal contracts.

• Bank of America (BAC) — Bought securities; reported among the major corporate trades.

• Goldman Sachs (GS) — Bought securities; reported among the major corporate trades.

But it’s not just Donald Trump laughing all the way to the bank. His family is cashing in as well. Here’s a breakdown of how the Trump kids and son-in-law Jared Kushner have profited from the presidency, according to recent reporting:

• $800+ million — World Liberty Financial crypto venture (Donald Trump Jr. & Eric Trump) — Trump family crypto company; revenue surged while Trump’s administration pursued crypto-friendly policies.

• $635 million — $TRUMP cryptocurrency royalties (Trump family-linked) — Meme coin venture generating hundreds of millions in reported royalties.

• $500 million — UAE-linked investment in World Liberty Financial — Foreign-backed investment in Trump family crypto business.

• $12.8 million — Unusual Machines drone contract (Donald Trump Jr.-linked) — Defense-related company connected to Don Jr.; drew scrutiny over government-sector overlap.

• Tens of millions — Foreign Trump Organization licensing deals (Eric Trump & Donald Trump Jr.) — Overseas business deals in countries with U.S. policy interests.

• $2 billion — Saudi Public Investment Fund investment in Jared Kushner’s Affinity Partners — Saudi sovereign wealth investment after Kushner’s White House role advising on Middle East policy.

• ~$6 billion — Affinity Partners assets under management (Kushner) — Investment firm funded heavily by Gulf-region investors.

• $5 billion+ — Affinity Partners fundraising efforts — Expansion efforts involving foreign sovereign wealth sources.

• Albania luxury resort project (Kushner/Ivanka Trump) — Proposed high-end development requiring government approvals.

• 666 Fifth Avenue foreign investment efforts (Kushner family business) — Earlier real-estate financing efforts involving foreign investors, later scrutinized because of Kushner’s government role.

• $20+ million — Foreign licensing deals (Qatar, UAE, Romania) — Trump brand revenue from overseas partners.

Whew. By comparison, Hunter Biden sold some of his crappy paintings for way too much and earned about $4 million in various foreign business ventures by name-dropping his family connections. Upwards of $20 million-plus was alleged by House GOP members, but nothing was ever proven. They spent years investigating Hunter Biden and even launched an impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden and found nothing they could prove. Let’s hope they’re just as diligent this time around.

The sketch: